Sitting here waiting for coffee to brew, thinking about age.  After-all I'm going to be 60 next October.  Who thought I would make it this far huh?  Anyway I was thinking about what we are called as we age.  In our younger years we are newborns, infants, babies, children, kids, preteens, teens, young adults, young folks, then sir and ma'am as we move into our late 40s.  I was actually called "Ma'am" when I was in my 20s but that was because I was because I was on a Military establishment and was asking a question of a young cadet and that is part of the training there, to teach them discipline and respect even though it made me feel old and gray LOL. 

So there I was in my late 40s moving into my fifties accepting being called a "ma'am"   The older I got the less it bothered me.  I even chuckled at younger women would complain about being called "Ma'am" I would think to myself :just wait, someday it won't phase you".

Well the other day I got a new revaluation.  Here I am nearing 60 and it has happened more than once but now I'm being called "dear" I was at the store the other day,m reaching for something when a much younger woman came up behind, "Here let me get you that dear" she said.  Then a few days after that one of the store clerks said "How are you feeling dear?"  Yes it is official I am now no longer Miss, Ms, Ma'am I am now "Dear".  Yes I will accept this one too because with this one comes the fact that I don't have to explain any of it anymore.  If I get into trouble "Oh that's okay dear we will just clean it all up"   As I am being redirected with that maniacal look on my face, giggling in side like a schoolgirl!--

Want A Little Coffee Ina Your Creamer?

Well at least it is before noon!  I kind of overdid it on the coffee creamer though.  Talk about your latte' .  Oh well I won't have to use any creamer on my next cup.   With my sleeping patterns back to what can be, I guess defined as "normal" I've been getting to sleep before 1:00am and depending on if I had "help" getting to sleep I'm usually up and about by 9:00
Today was the exception because yesterday evening I was doing some crocheting and fell asleep for almost three hours so I was up until just after 2:00 this morning.  I thought about taking one of my sleeping aids but didn't because it would have me sleeping  until almost late afternoon and I want to see at least some daylight.

Today's moon is in the final waning phase and is in Leo, tomorrow it will be in it's last quarter phase and in Virgo.  I have found that during these waning days I am more energetic and if it wasn't for previous injuries to my back I'd be able to get more done around here.  But that's okay a little at a time "slow and steady" as they say.
This weekend should prove to be a decent one as the moon will be in Libra Friday and Saturday and in the Lunar Phase, waning crescent.   Yeah I know some of you are rolling your eyes but I have noticed subtle things going on within me due to the moon's phases .

Admit it, aren't there certain times of the month when you crave a certain food, this goes for the guys as well as the girls, it has nothing to do with female menses.  I don't have those parts any longer and I find I crave certain foods at certain parts of the month even more now than I ever did when I had my cycles.  Study yourself keep an eye on your own sleeping patters, are there times when you are up late, just can't unwind and other times when you fall asleep watching the five o'clock news?  I do know this, next flare I have I'm going to check the moon phase and what sign it is in so I can maybe be better prepared the next time.

Looking back I see where my last major flare that landed me in hospital the moon was waning crescent in the Lunar phase in the house of Capricorn.   Tomorrow starts the Lunar phase but waning crescent and in the house of Virgo.  So I shall see how I feel at that time.

Like I said earlier right now my back aches and my sinuses have been giving me trouble.  I've also woken up coughing a couple of times during the night.  My hands and feet are "puffy".  But this all comes with the disease.  Right now if I had the strength I'd be yanking my big toe on my right foot off of that foot right now.  It hurts from the tip all the way into the joint..

Now my 2nd cup of "joe" since "Johan" isn't here rubbing my feet as the commercial claims.  This cup looks like coffee, I also grabbed a couple pieces of toast as I was feeling a bit "peckish" .  Every time I spread something on toast or a bagel I am reminded of that scene in The Bird Cage where Armand is attempting to teach Albert how to be a "man"  and shows Albert how to "smear" the spread onto the toast; good movie I should watch it again.

So, I changed the background to my page...do you like it?  I wanted to capture the "festive" feel but not get too far into Christmas.   To those who say "Tis the reason for the season" I say, check your history children, the season was here long before Christianity landed and that in fact Christianity is based upon the teachings of a Hebrew man...I wonder if anyone has told that Redneck KKK group about that?  They claim to be a Christian based organization dedicated to white/Christian supremacy ..Do they know their religion was begun by a Hebrew man?

Kind of a gloomy day out there actually.  I don't know if we had rain or the fog was just super thick earlier or we had snow and it melted, maybe ice and it melted but  the porch was damp and the step was wet when I let Sophie out this morning,   She came in and her belly was wet and so was her fur so it wasn't just the dew.   It is also chillier today.  I have figured out the thermostat and keep it at just about 65 degrees.  That keeps it warm enough inside and if it gets too warm I open up the kitchen window for awhile.  The cold makes me wanna pee...

I started this earlier today...

Drinking coffee, finishing my toast, I was awake all night. Oh yes, I was tired. So, I grabbed a clean blanket fresh from the dryer, set the Roku for Netflix and "Private Practice" while I drifted off to sleep.  My sleep shades were on, Sophie was next to me in the chair, I reclined, I closed my eyes, I started to drift and then WHAM!  I was wide awake, my brain was going a mile a minute.  I don't know about any of you but when my braid does that I start seeing "visions" of thoughts, ideas going through my head and I can't sleep until I do something with those thoughts.  So I posted on my blog about Moon phases and how they effect me

After posting I still wasn't tired so I played a couple of games and took a couple of Calms and in a little while I was feeling sleepy, so back to my chair, back to the program, back to my blanket.  Sophie sat with me again snuggled up under the blanket.  I put on my sleep shades again, reclined, again,  started to doze off and my legs started tingling and feeling "jumpy" then they were cramping so again the Hylands leg cramp pills and restless leg pills as well.  Then I had to go to the bathroom.

Back to the chair and by now it was after 4:00am and I just kept clicking my Roku for more Private Practice.  Finally at 7:30 I gave up and took Sophie outside.  Came back in and went from Netflix to Hulu until I realized that what I was watching on Hulu I had already seen twice and made a mental note to myself to delete it from y queue when I got online (I'm going to have to do that soon).  Next I fixed a pot off coffee, went back to Netflix for another Private Practice in the middle of PP I decided to use my nebulizer, got the shakes, went in poured a shaky cup of coffee, fixed some toast.  Took me a few times just to get the fake butter onto the toast my hands were so shaky .

So here it is now after 3:00 and yeah I'm still awake.  I thought I might be able to nap a bit this afternoon for that didn't happen.  I've had Pandora going on the television for awhile now, still nothing.   After I feed Sophie dinner and I have a nibble I'm going to take a very warm relaxing shower with my "sleep inducing" body wash, take my relaxation pills, Watch some ION television while I crochet and hopefully fall asleep.  I also have some sleep inducing room spray that I'll use on the blanket and the chair, and perhaps my crocheting as well.  And my sleep mask, I could spray them all before I take the shower.

I could also use some Vick's Vapocream that usually soothes my muscles as well.  And then I look and read further on the lunar page that the moon waxing is in Aries from the 23rd until tomorrow...Shannon's father is an Aries.  Come on all you Astrologers would the fact that the waxing moon is in Aries have something to do with my being "Up All Night?"  I think I'm going to have to start watching the moon more closely...

Weather is getting colder, hands are hurting more often.  If I were strong enough I'd probably we missing my lower right arm because just below the elbow where it was broken is in constant pain and there is a nice "lump" just barely viable there.  My fingers get so cold.

Oh, I didn't tell you about my "Help I've fallen" moment the other morning.  After my expierence with the flea spray (Dummy me) I switched chairs and everything was fine for awhile.  I remembered that the other chair had a problem with the back and that if I moved in a certain way I could wind up with my feet in the air and my head on the ground and having to do a backward somersault to fix the problem.  So I was just waking up the other morning, stretched my body fhead to toes with my arms above my head and yeppers it happened...t

So I had to do the back somersault then ease myself up with the aid of the stairs/newel post.  I was dizzy at first but once my head cleared I got the chair back to "normal", I continued to use it for a couple more nights but decided to switch back to the other chair just because knowing me I'd be doing it again and I'm in enough pain as it is.  Yes the accident hurt, my neck has been paying the price and my lower back hasn't been happy either.

Election day has come and gone.  It's another four years of Obama, I'm not happy about it but at least I dont' have to worry about my Medicare for four years.  After finally getting health insurance that doesn't cost $500 a month it would really upset me to wind up losing it.  What is there for folks like me to do?  Because of pre existings regular insurance would be out of hand, even the state issued insurance is over $300 a month.  But I guess those of us in need are supposed to slide under a rock somewhere ad die.

So, what's up with this, lately I've been craving chicken broth/soup.  I even woke up at 3:00 this morning craving it in my dream!  I'm sitting her finishing off a mug at this moment in fact.  Well chicken and rice/stars is sort of a "comfort food" for me so I guess that has something to do with it.

I finished another afghan and after I get it washed up I'm going to take photos of all of them then put them on Celtic Wych's site for sale.  I figure a flat rate of $25 each would be good...even offer "specials" from time to time a reduced rate when two or more are purchased.  I have all of this yarn (and of course I'll be getting more LOL) and I love doing these things but what do I do with them after I complete a project?  I'm one person and I've given so many of them away over the years.  Time to make a little money on them.

I do not like the time change.  I don't like having to turn the lights on so early in the day.  It starts getting dusky around 4:00.  It is actually kind of depressing since it is already the gray time of year and with the gray of dusk...gotta have color.  Besides I start getting sleepy as it gets dark and gloomy.  I am already looking forward to Spring and we haven't even been hit with winter yet...

First, Some Hot cocoa

It is damp and it's cold and I spent most of the overly gray morning curled up with Sophie in the chair snoozing getting up long enough to go to the bathroom then back under the afghan.  Now up and about I need to figure out a place to put the O2 machine where I can actually hear if it goes off and it won't be in the way.

Dozing in the chair last night it went off and I didn't hear it too well at first.  Sophie came running in from the kitchen whining and frantic.  When I felt no oxygen I realized there was a problem and heard the beep.  I first assessed that the power wasn't out and grabbed my phone in case I had to make an emergency call to the company I rent from.

I went in to check on the machine and hit the reset button, still the beep.  I turned it off  waited 20 seconds then back on, still beep.  Running out of energy and getting light headed I took a deep breath (well as deep as I could), and I leaned over to check the plug...machine was unplugged.   Sophie sometimes gets a little "wild" in her play and I can only deduce that she was "break dancing" and hit the cord and the plug slipped.  She was all apologetic and shaky thinking she was in trouble.  I moved the machine to another outlet temporarily and let Sophie know she wasn't in trouble.

Now I just have to gather the motivation to clear out the area I want to put the machine in plus that will give me a space to put the tanks as well so they are out of the way.....I think it is pretty much a given that when we have multiple days of gray, damp, cold weather I tend to suffer mild bouts of depression.  Not bad enough to medicate but enough to slow me down.  Once the sun is out and there is light and a bit of color I begin to perk up.

One might think that as a night owl I would enjoy the gloom of the damp gray weather.  But even night has a certain amount of brightness to it where the clouds are gone.  You can see the bright stars, the moon in all of her phases,   Even street lights seem brighter.  It doesn't feel so "closed in" as it does with the clouds, overcast, gray and damp.

So, over there is where I want to put my machine, and next too it on the left side the full tanks, and on the right the spent tanks.  Yes this I will do today.  But first...

Hot cocoa.

Do you know what is truly not fun?  Having a reaction to flea spray/medication that you have used on furniture and fabrics.  How would I know you ask?  I had such a reaction.

Yes, Sophie presented with more fleas.  Just when I get rid of them all she winds up with more!  After going through all that with the bathing in flea bath, the flea collar etc, etc, etc,  They were gone.  Then after Sandy blows through she goes outside to do her business and they are back!   Of course she is getting them from the yard and that flea collar didn't help.

So I went to the pet  store and got another collar and a more expensive medication which she wasn't at all happy with and I repeated what I did Sunday.  I also remembered that I had a bug spray in the kitchen that I had gotten months ago...so I read the label and yeah it helped get rid of fleas!

I sprayed it on the comforter Sophie and I use, and I sprayed it in our chair.  I even sprayed her since it said it was okay to do so as long as it didn't get in their eyes...she was facing away from me and I sprayed her backside.

After I got it all done, everything tossed or put away I was tired so I curled up under the comforter in the chair...yeah it was still a bit damp so I grabbed the heating paid to help warm things up and dry them and went to sleep...

Two hours later I was up hacking and coughing and had a burning sensation over exposed areas of my body/arms hands, feet and lower legs.  I tried to get up but Sophie was like dead weight and wouldn't move.  I finally had to shove her off my lap!   My nose and eyes were burning so I rushed to the bathroom, turned on the shower and jumped in!

I jumped in, clothes and all and stripped down in the shower.  It wasn't easy, sweatpants and tees stick to the body when wet but I got them all off.  I had already pulled the cannula off my face and was letting the water run in my face eyes wide open.  I just stood there, knowing exactly what happened, washed myself down, got out, grabbed a towel and found my pjs and put them on.

I sat up for awhile just to calm down, fixed up the other chair to sleep in moved things around and exhausted fell back into it with a sheet and afghan after taking the comforter to the laundry room to be washed at a later time.  I took the wet clothes and placed them into the washer, ran the dry because there were clothes in there.

Now I'm spending today just relaxing, in fact slept until after 2:00pm!   I don't care, that wasn't a happy thing and I'm not feeling all that great now.  For now, it's feeding time for Sophie and I'm going to curl back up In the chair and rest.  Happy Halloween everyone

Sitting here listening to Sandy trying to beat down the door and the windows.  Power went out for a few minutes a little while ago.  I'm not planning on going to sleep until this part of the storm is over.  I just want to be sure I am awake if power goes out again.  What can I say, yeah I am a bit scared.  I don't like when I hear that machine going Beep beep, especially when I have very little portable O2 left.

I'm supposed to get a delivery tomorrow so If I can stay awake until then I can go to sleep and if the beeping starts I'll at least have portables to back me up for awhile.   So far though it hasn't been bad, just a lot of wind and rain.

I feel kind of bad for the couple next door.  They spent the entire weekend working on getting Halloween decorations up, they had a "cemetery" scene along with that artificial webbing.  They even had a "body" wrapped up in the webbing.  Then they had to turn around and take it all down because Sandy would have tossed everything around and damaged property and cars.

Ugh I had to give Sophie a flea bath last night.  Yeah while I was flaring...I was petting her belly and found four of those buggars, I did a search of her all over but only found the four so up into the tub she went.  She doesn't like having to stand there with the soap on.   This morning I had to get to Wal Mart early to load up on a few "provisions" and while there I got a flea collar for the Sophemeister.  She is fine now, not happy about the flea collar but she feels better and that was the idea.

Of course going to Wally World gave me a headache, there was this kid who was screaming from when I entered the store, I wasn't there long but she screamed the entire time at her mother "I don't want this, I don't want that" and screaming, and screaming!  Her and her mother were at the end of an aisle I was on and I just rolled my eyes and out loud said "Good grief put a damn sock in it!"  An older gentleman in the aisle heard me and began to chuckle and said he was thinking pretty much the same thing!  Other shoppers were just nodding.  I was so glad to get out of there.  Even if some of what I wanted to get wasn't on the shelves...

Went to see what was going on at Cafe'Mom, sites is down...funny people are messing Cafe Mom complaining about it, wondering why the server is down...DUH you think any of them listen to the news?  Their Servers are in New York...New York is underwater right now... Dumb asses!  So who are you voting for President?

COPD flares are not fun.   It is hard to breathe, you cough, you suck on inhalers and nebulizers..  You grab your pulse/oximeter to make sure you are getting oxygen.  You cough some more.  Tour chest hurts, no it's not a heart attack, that's different.  Your collarbone/clavicle hurt.  Your lungs hurt.  Your back hurts where you lungs are.

You feel like an elephant is on your chest and you are helpless to get it off.  You gasp, you yawn and you wheeze getting air in and out.  Sometimes after a coughing spell you have to grab a rescue in haler just to get air back into your lungs....but first you have to expel what is in there out...if you can.

Sometimes putting vapor rub on your chest helps, and if you have someone willing to do so having them put it on your back in your lung area helps as well.  Not that it will help much, yes it can open up airways but mostly it is just a comfort.  So you can curl up and go to sleep because by the time you do everything else you so exhausted all you want to do is sleep...

What a crappy day!  I was so exhausted after dinner that about 8:00 I fell asleep until almost 11:00.  I'm still tired and after checking the message boards I'm going to settle in for the night with Sophie.

Started out with me trying to find my keys so I could go to the bank.  Took me an hour searching for those damn things.  Finally found them under something I was going to return to Wal Mart but never got around to doing...

Then I had to get the tanks ready to go.  Wasn't sure if I was going to stop of at the store real quick so I took one tall tank and two smaller ones just in case.  I also had promised to take Sophie along with me so I had to hitch her up and calm her down while I got my shoes on and made sure I had everything I needed.

Then it was to the gas station because I needed a little, so I got $10 worth.  Had to wait while pulling away from the gas station and Sophie wasn't happy about that.  She started whining, but quit once we headed down the road.

At the bank I couldn't find my wallet buried under the backpack, found it then couldn't find my ATM card inside...found it sighed a huge sigh of relief and proceeded with my transaction.  More Sophie whining trying to pull away from the bank and up to Wal Mart.

One check of the parking lot told me no way was I going in so we headed home.  Luckily the light was with us so there was no whining from Sophie.

Home so I decided that since it wasn't raining yet I'd take Sophie for a short walk before grabbing the large tank and go inside.  After the walk she  promptly went under the car and got tangled in the muffler and mudflap!  I had to get her untangled and once I did I went for the larger tank, she went to the front of the car...

And got herself tangled in the front bumper!  Oh I was ready to kill her!  Got her untangled for a 2nd time and inside before anything else went wrong.  Got settled back in and relaxed a few minutes before starting dinner.

Had bacon and eggs for dinner and things got a little "smoky" as I was getting Sophie's food ready I began having trouble breathing.  I had to come to the living room and sit down over and over, got my dinner cooked used my rescue inhaler ate dinner, Sophie enjoyed hers.  After dinner we sat in our chair, I needed to relax.  I fell asleep and slept for three hours.  Woke up to a COPD flare, had to use the nebulizer.

Now I have the shakes, used the corticoid steroid inhaler and am felling a little better but tired.  I'm going to get some more water, take a couple of pain pills and head to the chair.

I do not like using my nebulizer.  I get the shakes and the medication burns my eyes.  However I will be facing a change starting November so I'm going to be using the nebulizer here at home from now on.

November 1 Medicare kicks in and the pharmacy plan I will be getting doesn't cover my rescue inhaler but it will only cost me $3.00 for a 90 box of nebulizer medication.  That is opposed to the $30.00 I pay for the inhaler and I would much rather have that $27.00 in my pocket.

The burning eyes only lasts for a couple of minutes so I can deal with it.  It is worth it since the Medicare plan I got is a "complete/Advantage" plan and I don't have any premiums to pay.  I get hospital and medical for $99 a month which comes out of my disability check.  I also get a prescription drug plan and vision and dental benefits as well as a plan for my DME.

There are also some freebies, colo-rectal screenings, mammograms, and paps.  They pay 80% of my medical needs and I can handle the 20%.  I also have the option of finding coverage for the 20% copay.  I will look into that later on, I want to compare prices and plans first.

So I'm starting on using my nebulizer here at home and saving my inhalers for away from home.  I'm also going to be changing pharmacies because the one at Wal Mart has just frustrated me for the last time.  I have had to change my address and phone number three times with them, both online and in the store.  For some reason it doesn't "stay" in the computer.  And when there is a problem with my prescriptions they call the old number and leave a message.

I don't know who is getting the messages but they're not calling  Wal Mart back LOL   There was a "glitch" this last time I placed my refill order online, it should have been ready by the next day but I didn't get there until three days later.  Plenty of time for them to notify me of a problem either by phone or via email.  I didn't find there was a problem until I got there.  So I gave them my phone number again and I gave them my email address again.

So here I am all nebulized and ready to roll...Time for lunch.

Okay I am hurting.... and I'm hoping I didn't break something because I don't know how I'll make it to the doctor if I did...

For the most part the day went pretty well.  Quite windy and chilly but at least no rain and there was lots of sun.  I managed to get the AC out of the window yesterday and had to turn the heat on because the mornings are getting way cold.  Even had to slide into my new sweat pants and I ordered another two pair as well.

Still flaring but feeling a bit better than yesterday so I decided to take Sophie for a short walk.  I got my sneakers on, got my tank ready then had to go to the bathroom.

That's when my accident happened.  My shoelace had come untied I stepped on it and tripped myself while going into the bathroom and I wound up smacking my left hip and knee on the outside of the tub and the top half of my body landed in the tub smacking my right arm om the inside "wall" of the tub.

I felt okay right after, got myself back up.  did what I needed to do, tied my shoe again pulled up my pants, came out of the bathroom turned off my O2 machine, cleaned the filter, grabbed the backpack with the tank opened the tank up wide, hitched Sophie up and away we went.

I was fine walking, a bit shaken but we made it to the curb and then I turned around.  I let Sophie explore a bit before she got down to business then we came in, I gave her a treat, sat down with the crocheting  for awhile.  Got up to feed Sophie, made myself some dinner then played a couple of games.

I took Sophie back out but when I sat in my chair outside I felt pain in my left thigh, kind of a "hot" cramp .  Once inside and Sophie's treat I sat to watch "The Big Bang Theory" and when I sat I felt the pain again.  Then the pain started going down in my knee...I imagine there is going to be one hell of a bruise back there, I don't have a hand mirror so I can see what is going on back there.

My back hurts as well...Tomorrow is not going to be a good day.

Another dreary, dismal, chilly, gray day.  I have only one area of the kitchen to complete but my back just isn't up to it.  I figure I'll take today and tomorrow off and then start back at it Monday, finishing up in the kitchen and then heading in here.  That way I can bring the desk in here after I clear out the are I want it to go.

Of course Sophie is here to help me, she has been a little lover and I enjoy having her here to snuggle with.  She helps me get to sleep at night and is a great little wake up.

With cleaning the kitchen I found out that a few things that I thought didn't work actually do, I just had to adjust them.   The coffee grinder just wasn't set right and by me readjusting the bottom of it I am now enjoying a pot of Starbuck's here at home!  So, the stove works, the oven works the coffee grinder works I'm all set LOL.

Been trying to figure out what type of Medicare plan to enroll into, I have until the 15th to decide.  With one I would also have to pay for a supplemental plan and with the other there would be no need for a supplemental plan but the rates may go up when I move.  But once I move I should be able to afford the extra.

So, Sophie and I are going to kick back and vegetate this weekend, I will be enjoying my Starbuck's.  I have been thinking about taking her to get a "costume" for Halloween and getting her nails trimmed, she is due.  I just don't like being out in this weather....Sigh

What better way to start the first day of Autumn than with a Venti Pumpkin Spice Latte' from Starbuck's?  I thank Shannon for the $25 gift card.  I stopped off on my way home from picking up my prescription at Wal Mart and boy did I need it!

I don't know what happens to people's brains when they get in that store but it seems that a great many get sucked out by the time they clear the second entrance door!  The only ones with the brains seem to be those of us on the riders.

As I was going in I noticed there were no riders, and just as I was about to head to the other end a person on a rider came up and we made a trade.  I helped her get her things into the push cart I had she helped me get the O3 tank into the rider and we thanked each other and parted ways.

I had very few things to get while I was there, some sugar, snack cakes and chips, through out the store I was met with ill mannered basically stupid folks.  I had was run into by three pushcarts and had to literally yes EXCUSE ME to a group that was obviously holding a Clan meeting in the middle of an aisle.  

Going down another aisle I was about to get up to grab an item when this older guy and his wife (?) came along and the guy literally slammed into the rider head on!  The woman smacked him one and told him to watch what he was doing, he apologized saying he didn't see me....c'mon, if you can't see a beached whale on a mobility scooter right in front of you then it's time you got that white cane and a dog! 

The second time was when I was going down the toothpaste/brush aisle, I had stopped to read the back of a box, the guy ahead of me moved to the front of his cart reached for something but couldn't get it , he clearly saw me there and instead of asking if I could back up (which I gladly would have  done), he just pushes the cart again right into me!  I put the item I was looking at into my basket and left.  As I rode past him he mumbled something that I couldn't hear.  

Third time I was waiting to pick up my prescription.  Woman with a tribe got behind me, kids were whining that they were bored, they wanted treats, they were thirsty, why did they have to wait.  Just as I was called next I heard her call to one of the kids to leave the cart alone and just as I was about to pull forward that basked slammed me in the back!  The force was so hard that I lunged forward and almost hit my chin on the controls of the scooter!  

I whirled around and glared at the woman, the kid was laughing and she began apologizing and admonishing the laughing kid.  I told he she should curb her pets and then went on to pick up my prescription and pay for my items.  The girl at the counter wanted to know if I wanted to fill out an accident report and she apologized and said that the manager was on her way over because she had called.  

I declined the accident report stating I just wanted to get out of the zoo and home to safety, I'd had enough.  The manager showed up, the girl at the counter told the story the manager asked if I was okay and did I want to fill out an accident report.  Again I declined with a thank you and went on my way.  As I turned the corner I noticed the manager was speaking to the woman with the tribe.  She didn't look too happy.

On the way home I stopped at Starbuck's order my Pumpkin Spice Latte and on the way home I enjoyed it's warm creamy flavor, savoring every sip   I wish Starbuck's delivered.

Well Sophie has adjusted to being "Only dog" she will spend part of the night in her basket sleeping and then after I've done my late night bathroom break she will curl up with me..   I don't mind, it's nice to have her snuggle in with me.


She loves the walks we go on and we have gotten to the stop sign up on the corner and back when I crank the O2 saturation way up.  If we go out around 3:00pm she does all of her "business"  and gets a nice treat for it.

There are things I need to get done around here but am taking one more lazy weekend to recoup from the flare this time around.  It was a bit worse than usual because the weed pollen has been very high and that along with the humidity hasn't helped.

Because of the pain in my neck and upper back I've had to stop using the computer so much.  It's nice though because now Sophie sits with me and we watch television while I work on the afghan I'm crocheting.  It has gotten to where I have to switch out though, go from one to the other when I start hurting.  Pain management...

The weather is turning and soon I'm going to have to drag the AC out of the window again.  I dread having to turn the heat on.  That's one good thing about the O2 machine, it puts out enough heat that I don't need to use the head as much.  Bad thing is you don't want to see my electric bill!  I don't want to see my electric bill!

Shannon has been working on her driving which means we are on the road to getting me to Texas hopefully not to far away.  My lungs will thank me for getting them out of the humidity, my joints will thank me for getting them out of the dampness and my bones will thank me for getting them out of the icy winds.  I won't miss the warping floors, I'm not going to go through any real strict cleaning measure.  I know he is just waiting for me to leave so he can gut this place.  

He won't evict me or ask me to leave because he doesn't want to feel guilty so  I'm sure he will be relieved when I'm gone LOL.  He can get in here and  really fix this place up,  I've heard him talking to his cousin that he wants to put in a bathroom upstairs off the bedroom and that would be a good thing,   I also know he wants to change the heating system to electric, it's gas now.  I'm going to leave the Washer and dryer here, or give them to charity and let Shannon take them off her taxes.

Right now the pain is coming up in my neck/upper back/shoulder area so I'm going to run off and crochet for awhile.  I am so looking forward to being where it is dryer and warmer and I can spend more time walking Sophie even in the winter.

I want to wish my Sophie a happy"birthday" Well it has been about a year since she and Phoebe came to me.  Now that her and I have gotten past the trauma of losing Phoebe who will forever be in our hearts, we can move on.

The weather has been pretty good here so we've been going on our walks.  I made it to the stop sign today.  Something I had yet to do before today.  It will be so nice when we reach Texas and we can walk longer distances.

Anyway today we are "celebrating" Sophie being here a year.  Shannon sent gifts.  Two new bowls for food and water, a new harness that I had to bribe Sophie into.  Dentasticks that I used to bribe Sophie with.  She also got a fold able cloth bowl for water when on the road and some moist wipes for when she is dirty but can't take a bath, usually due to my back health.

The harness doesn't bother her and she seemed to enjoy the wipes when I sued them on her belly.  I will be taking photos after while (I have to scare up batteries for my camera), but she will be having dinner in her new bowls.  And yes she will be getting something "special" with dinner tonight.

My health is getting better.  I decided to do a detox yesterday only taking in liquids and I pretty much purged my bod of the junk that it was harboring.  Lots of tea, lots of broth , the puffiness in my hands and feet is gone and yes I do feel better although tired from the diarrhea I had for two days

My neck and upper back hurt from the coughing and sneezing I've been doing due to the pollen floating around.  Weed pollen is high grass was moderate so of course the yard guy had to come and mow making the grass pollen even worse for me.  My eyes are still watering.  We have high winds warning now although it isn't bad outside, wasn't bad when we had our walk.

There is a very nice breeze coming in and that feels good. We are in for rain tomorrow, not something I"m looking forward to because that means humidity.

Right now, I gotta go get Sophie's dinner started...hmmm maybe some cheese tonight...By the way...Sophie wants to thank Shannon and Sadie for the great gifts and she can't wait to see them in Texas!

I did some research into what killed Phoebe and have come to the conclusion that if I hadn't given her oxygen that day she became ill she would have been dead by the time we got to the Veterinarians.  Turns out she was in a hypoglycemic coma, I remember the doctor asking if she was hypoglycemic.  I said not that I knew of which was true

Turns out that Chihuahuas are prone to Hypoglycemia and they have seizures, I didn't cause the problem though, she had to have had i since very  young, like Lupus it can lie dormant until something triggers it.  One of the triggers is stress...something Phoebe knew fairly well in her young life.  When I read this it broke my heart to know I maybe have been able to prevent it some how, but it wasn't my fault, I was taking care of my dog the way I have always taken care of her and the life she had was the trigger.
I gave her a good life for the length that it was I just wish it could have been longer and better for her.

Meanwhile, Sophie and I went to the Post Office this morning.  I had to get more stamps.  Boy it took me a bit to get myself in there.  I don't know where I lost it but the washer went MIA so I had to switch compressors, ugh.

Got my stamps and had a hard time getting back into school and some moron in a hurry to get by had to honk.  So once inside the car, getting a couple of moments of air, someone passes by and honks again!  Yeah I know, "old lady on oxygen get your ass outta da way."..

And wouldn't you know that all the allergens are high today.  Not to mention I didn't get much sleep last night, this old body just would not shut down finally I feel asleep sometime after 3am.  So after sneezing like crazy after Sophie and I came in from our walk I had to take an allergy pill.  I am now tired, my nose is stuffy from all the blowing and sneezing.  I need to use my nebulizer because of the allergens.  So I'm vegetating...might vegetate tomorrow too.

Flaring a little worse today because I haven't slept much.  Humidity was 91% last night so I didn't get to sleep until after the sun started coming up.  Finally got about four hours but that wasn't nearly enough but with the humidity I can't breathe as well and the air is just hanging there, no breeze, birds don't even sing/chirp on days like this.

So no undercutting for me today, I'll rest up today and get back to work tomorrow.  Sophie and I went to pick  up Phoebe's ashes yesterday.  They gave us a really nice box and a velveteen pouch with her ashes inside a plastic bag in it.   Yes I teared up and felt numb coming home.

Sophie behaved pretty well on the ride.  It took some forceful "Nos" to get her to understand that she couldn't sit in my lap while I was driving but she finally caught on and she was happy riding "shotgun" She enjoyed looking out the window , but got a bit "antsy " when we had to stop for a light.   We made it home in one piece, I fed Sophie and myself then I did some de-cluttering and finally called it a day.

I've started up a new crochet project, I belong to a group on Face book that has a "store" and after I get settled in Texas I'm going to start selling my afghans.  They will be reasonably priced nothing over $30 and just two basic patters.  I'm not out to make a million bucks, just to recoup some of the cost for yarn, because I enjoy crocheting, a moderately lucrative hobby.

I don't want to embark on any new ventures here because I'm going to need to be able to store not only the merchandise but shipping materials as well.  Who knows, maybe I'll even branch out and sell on EBay.  Maybe  Shannon can come on board with her jewelry making as well.  I do have a few  items that could be sold now that she has made...I'll have to run that by her.

For now, I'm going to nibble on home made chex mix and play a few games, take Sophie out and back in and just vegetate today, it' is a good day for vegetation LOL

Having a flare when you're by yourself can be difficult to say the least.  I woke up this morning in pain from my head to my toes.  I took Sophie out, got the tanks to the porch, had some breakfast and a half hour later I was sleeping again.

I woke up to the Batman Movie on ION, took Sophie outside, got the mail, junk of course.  Sat down to watch the rest of the movie, almost fell asleep when the O2 delivery came, I drag in the tanks and the fresh cannulas, signed the receipt then had to bring then all inside...

I had to turn on the AC because of the humidity.  I'm really feeling miserable.

I got up to get some iced tea and make myself a snack and it was all I could do to stand up.  I got dizzy walking into the kitchen even.   I get waves of total weakness and lethargy.  I hope this passes soon.

My snack is my own recipe for Chex Mix.  Rice and corn chex in a bowl with popcorn oil, any oil will do of course but I have the popcorn oil so figured I'd use it.  Some garlic powder and some cheddar cheese powder.  Mixed together then some buttery cooking spray, into the microwave for 29 seconds and viola...chex mix the way I like it.

My eyes don't want to stay open and I'm going to be asleep again soon.  Sophie keeps looking at me as if to ask if I'm feeling okay.  She came up into the chair a while ago to snuggle and cuddle.  The Vet clinic I took Phoebe to called to say her ashes were ready.  I'll go pick them up tomorrow.  I'll take Sophie with me, she can wait in the car while I go get Phoebe's cremains.

Right now, I'm going to finish my snack and my tea and sleep some more...

Sophie and I are recovering from our loss.  I was awake earlier this morning and we went for a short walk.  The stress has gotten me into a mild flare which has manifested itself in a case of diarrhea, which of course makes my kidneys hurt and makes me tired and more stressed...

Anyway, after Sophie and I came back inside from our walk we had a bit of "snuggle time" while I watched a bit of television.  Well I didn't watch actually since there was really not much on.  I hit Style and Kimora Life in the Fab and wound up falling asleep after Sophie popped into her basket.

I'm going to take it easy today, do a bit of picking up, and keep the snuggles going with Sophie.

My emotions are still very raw from last Wednesday night.  I keep seeing her face at the end.  When the Vet brought her in for me to say my goodbyes.  She looked at me, She knew who I was.  She attempted to lick my face, I got down to let her do so.  She looked straight at me and her eyes said it all:  She knew it was the end was letting me know that it was okay to let her go.  That look in those little brown eyes told me that she herself was letting go and that it was okay that I was letting her go.

Poor Sophie has been so confused.  The scent of Phoebe is still around us.  Sophie has gotten into the chair Phoebe usually sat but Phoebe isn't there and Sophie has that questioning look on her face.  "Where is she?"  She has been getting up into my lap more today than usual.  I hold her, I talk with her,  I tell her Phoebe isn't coming back, a couple minutes later she gets down and jumps into her basket and looks up at me with a sad sorrowful face.  She doesn't understand why Phoebe went away and why she isn't coming back.

We will wake up tomorrow morning, I will take Sophie outside.  Maybe she will check the yard to see if Phoebe is nearby.  Maybe she will come back in and get into the chair then back down when she discovers that Phoebe isn't there.  Maybe she will give me that "Where is she look"...then again maybe she won't.

In time I will close off that part of my heart she dwells in, I will touch the container her ashes are in every now and then, tell her I miss her.  Remind myself that I used to call her "Freebie" and probably tear up, just like I still do with Pebbles, with Max.  I will heal, Sophie will heal...but for now, our emotions are raw...