Got Crack?

I wonder, just how many ass cracks one has to see before they go blind.

It seems like no matter where I go (Wal Mart, Wegmans’s, Target or Kmart, you name it), I always park next to someone getting a kid in or out of a car seat and they are wearing those low rise jeans with the thong underwear and are way to fat to wear those low cut jeans (in fact you can’t even see the “thong” part of the thong it’s imbedded in the ass crack so deep!).

It never fails, just as I turn to open my door there it is! Who is lying to these idiots when they ask “Do these make me look fat”? Come weigh 300 pounds and you are dressed in a crop top, (your jugs hang to your knees), a pair of low rise jeans (that you probably can’t get past your thighs anyway even if they weren’t low rise)

and a thong that is buried where no man has any intentions of going, hell he’d get lost in there if he tried!

Boy that's a new twist on the phrase "Going where no man has gone before"...I swear, it’s not my getting older, or the fact that I have Lupus that has made my eyes get is looking at these people and their cracks...

I don’t understand how a person can sit in those things! I go for cover and comfort, If it gives me a wedgie I’m not wearing it! I don't want to be wearing pants so tight that they scrape my clitoris! I guess that's why so many women "breakdown" on the highway, it's not that the car is having problems it is because they have to pull over for a few moments until they've finished with their orgasms! I have a better idea...

What if (those who are married otherwise encumbered) they wore those things around

the house all day while doing housework and chasing the kids. By the time hubby comes home for dinner soon as he steps in the door he will get the ride of his life and will be so happy he will end up taking her out to dinner! This could be better than couples therapy or marriage counseling!

So here is a hint, if you feel the need to ask "Do I look fat in this?" or "do these make my butt look big?" or even "does my ass crack show?" then the answer is a resounding yes and you shouldn't be embarassing yourself, your children or the rest of your ancestors by going out in it. Believe me the person parked next to you at the store

certainly doesn't want to see what color your shit is today.