Thursday, August 30, 2012

Not too "perky" this morning.  I had to do something very hard last night and it is going to take me awhile to recover from it.  I had to have my Phoebe put down.  I'm still very shaken and my "heart" hurts.  I don't know what went wrong, why she was having seizures, what took her from us.  I just know it hurts...

For most of yesterday Phoebe was fine.  She went out with Sophie happily doing her dance and yap at the door. However the third time they went out she needed "coaxing".  I had to go over to her in the chair and hook her up, she got out of the chair and followed Sophie outside but no "spring" in her step and coming in she had trouble getting up the steps to the porch.

Earlier that day she had thrown up a couple of times but nothing major and dogs throw up from time to time.  Back inside she layed down next to my chair, I put her back in her chair and headed to the bathroom.  I came out and announced that I was going to get dinner started and she didn't move.  Normally she would be in the kitchen before I could turn around and head in that direction.

I walked over to see what was going on and she wa stiff, unmoving, looked almost dead!  I picked her up and she blinked, I noticed her pupils were huge, no eye color showing.  I hooked up some left over tubing to the O2 machine and got it to her and the pupils started shrinking. I made a frantic call to the Vet but they were closed so I had to call the Emergency Vet.

Had a minor accident while getting there, I went over a divider while looking for the Vet's, it was in unfamilar territory and I didn't see that the divider although not much of an incline on my side was a drop off to the other side and I wound up stuck on the divider.  So I called 911 because yes it was an emergency, not only for Phoebe but for myself because I was on oxygen and couldn't sit and wait for Triple A to get around to getting to me.

Within about 15 minutes Phoebe was at the Vets, the car was removed from it's "trap and I was pulling the O2 tank out of the car to get into Vet myself.  Upon discussion, I found out that they couldn't get a blood pressure on her and her heart rate was so far above normal for a dog her side that it was about beating it's way out of her chest!

In order to do all of the tests they needed to do on her it would cost anywhere from $1,500 to $3,000, I applied to care credit but because of my own low scores I sas declined.  There was only one option  and the Vet agreed because there was no guarantee based upon her condition at that time that she would live through the tests anyway.

They could try and make her "comfortable" and keep her overnight with iv meds and then they'd determine what else to do hoping she made it through the "seizure"  and be okay.  Well while they were giving her some IV meds she had another seizure.  So I had to make the heartbreaking decision to let her go.  I held her I hugged her, I kissed her.  I told her she would be meeting up with Max and Pebbles and to keep watch as guardian angel over Sophie.  I cried...and cried...

Got home to Sophie, poor thing hadn't been fed yet.  I took her outside where she searched for Phoebe, we came back in where she looked ofr Phoebe and came to me with the look of confusion on her sweet face.  She sat in my lap for a bit then I fed her.  Came back in the living room to see what "damage" she had done while I was gone...she was so angry that I took Phoebe and she didn't get to go that she tore up a foam pillow I use in my chair.  Poor Sophie girl.

This morning she looked again for her buddy, still confused, she sat in my lap again for a few minutes when I first woke up.  I'm not in the mood to do much today...just going to grieve...I miss my "baby Phoebe"...