---Had a fairly decent nap.  Just woke up.  Needed that nap before I killed Sophie.  She's been getting her little self into a lot of trouble lately and getting on my last nerve.  She almost made it today with her little tricks;  I have been on and off flaring lately and my health hasn't been all that great because of it.  I am in need of blood wok on top o f it so I'm not in all that great of shape but I'm moving on as they say. 

Sophie has been a bit of a trouble maker getting into things and had gotten herself into minor scrapes like getting stuck outside under the car where I've had to go out and get her and it all culminated into me having to pull the dryer out fro the wall today so I could get her out from behind! 

Last week she got on my desk and knocked down the bowl of treats I have up here for when she does her business outside and comes in.  She enjoys them so they are "special" for when she does it all outside (Occasionally I will find poop on the bathroom floor, can't really say to much because it is the Bathroom floor only you know).  Not only did she knock this bowl down but she managed to get the lid off and eat all of the treats therefore emptying the dish before it's time and having to wait until I make another  dog food run next week. 

So she has been in search of anything that may have fallen on the floor while I have been fixing my meals and has chased some to under the stove fridge and of course washer and dryer.  Until today where she ran up and chased possibly a moue with a morsel behind the the dryer and got her little bootee stuck.  I was in there fixing myself a big "gulp" of water and heard her little whine had to go in and grab a tank pf O2 and boost it way up and set with it getting as much as I could so I could go in there and move the damn machine! 

And the doctor's office won't send someone out to help me with my car when I need to get bloodworm done.  Can you figure out why I would want to change primary providers?  Well I'm hungry right now, Sophie is too so I'm going to go get us some food and turn on some Judge Judy, want to join us?

Sophie Stay stay the hell out of trouble!!!

It was Alice Cooper

Who sang, "Welcome to my nightmare" Well mine was today.  Last night before turning out the lights and calling it a night I set the clock to get up and go get my blood.   work done.  It was a fasting test so I figured that since I was tired before midnight I'd just snuggle in and go straight to the lab when I woke up in the morning.  I wasn't planning on Sophie up shaking and biting at herself enough to get me wide awake and frustrated to find that again she had fleas!

So, this morning, instead of going for blood work I headed in the direction of Pet Co down the highway a couple miles.  Now I don''t usually go to Pet Co due to the fact that I went there looking for dog bedding once and everything I looked at was stained with urine!  It would be bad enough for my own dog to piss on her bedding but to bring it home already in that condition and after paying $30 for it?  I don't think so.  But I was trying to save myself a bit of money since they had the same products as Pet Smart for $2 less and I was getting a number of items, I could save myself $10, almost a half a take of gas!

I was quite surprised to see that the Pet Co store was no longer there (when did that happen?) and I had to admit it was frustrating.  Now I had to turn around and head back down in the other direction to Pet Smart to get the items anyway.  I would have gone to Pet Supplies but they don't have the products I was looking for  So there I was looking through Pet Smart trying to read the tiny labels knowing I had already wasted half a tank of oxygen just getting there.  Found what I needed, went through check out, to the car and home.

I got everything put away, re read labels and then proceeded to get the bathroom prepared because first thing, Sophie was getting a bath.  I came out of the bathroom and grabbed the carpet/upholstery spray and sprayed the carpet and furniture good just prior to heading into the bathroom with Sophie.  I decided to get in with her thinking I could maintain control a little easier...until she jumped out of the tub...I got her back in side, finished wetting her down from before she jumped out and scolded her.  Shampooed her, sat and waited a few minutes while the medication worked , rinsed her and bundled her into a towel so I could maintain control while I did the rest.

I don't know if the medication burns her as it goes on but for some reason Sophie does not like the replant that goes on at the neck and is squeezed on down towards the tail,nonetheless she was "tied" up and couldn't get loos and couldn't try to bite to get away so she just sighed and waited for me to get done.  I held her long enough for the medicine to sink into the scalp then I added the flea collar.  Brand new out of the wrapper I got it on her, got it adjusted snipped off the extra and tossed it.  Then I let Sophie go and she was so relieved LOL.  I did give her a treat which she obviously figured she deserved by the way she grabbed it then after making short work of her treat she went to her basket (good thing I sprayed it  earlier) and demanded to be covered, (clean blanket) and I complied   She will be hiding out for the rest of the day and evening, coming out long enough to eat...I'd better make it a good dinner huh?

Hopefully tomorrow I can make the run to the lab and feed the Vampires early..

Twice a Day

For those who have dogs that seem to always be cold, or frightened.  You know, they seem to shiver all the time.   It is what gives Chihuahuas the reputation for being timid little dogs.  When in reality they aren't.  Try feeding your dogs more than once a day.  I learned the hard way.

What the shivering might indicate is a drop in blood sugar.    Chihuahuas are prone to Hypoglycemia (something I was unaware of), and can go into Hypoglycemic shock, coma and pass away, like my sweet Phoebe.

Had I fed her and Sophie twice a day, once in the morning/early afternoon and once in the evening, she would still be here pestering Sophie and thinking she was the boss of everybody.  Instead I did as I always have been and fed both dogs in the evening, just prior to my own dinner.  

Consequently Phoebe always seemed to be cold/skittish always shaking.  It had never dawned on me to feed more than once, I have always feed my dogs once a day. and I paid the price.

Now I feed Sophie twice a day,   Late morning/early afternoon, not a lot, a small handful .  Total for the day she doesn't get more than a half cup of food a day because I don't want her gaining a lot of weight.

By feeding twice a day, this also ensures that I eat semi regularly. because when I feed Sophie I'll grab a light snack for myself, keeping my own blood sugar at normal levels.

So, keep your dogs healthy and feed twice a day for smaller dogs and three times a day for the larger ones.  Don't forget to exercise them and yourselves, and give them lots of love and attention.

First, Some Hot cocoa

It is damp and it's cold and I spent most of the overly gray morning curled up with Sophie in the chair snoozing getting up long enough to go to the bathroom then back under the afghan.  Now up and about I need to figure out a place to put the O2 machine where I can actually hear if it goes off and it won't be in the way.

Dozing in the chair last night it went off and I didn't hear it too well at first.  Sophie came running in from the kitchen whining and frantic.  When I felt no oxygen I realized there was a problem and heard the beep.  I first assessed that the power wasn't out and grabbed my phone in case I had to make an emergency call to the company I rent from.

I went in to check on the machine and hit the reset button, still the beep.  I turned it off  waited 20 seconds then back on, still beep.  Running out of energy and getting light headed I took a deep breath (well as deep as I could), and I leaned over to check the plug...machine was unplugged.   Sophie sometimes gets a little "wild" in her play and I can only deduce that she was "break dancing" and hit the cord and the plug slipped.  She was all apologetic and shaky thinking she was in trouble.  I moved the machine to another outlet temporarily and let Sophie know she wasn't in trouble.

Now I just have to gather the motivation to clear out the area I want to put the machine in plus that will give me a space to put the tanks as well so they are out of the way.....I think it is pretty much a given that when we have multiple days of gray, damp, cold weather I tend to suffer mild bouts of depression.  Not bad enough to medicate but enough to slow me down.  Once the sun is out and there is light and a bit of color I begin to perk up.

One might think that as a night owl I would enjoy the gloom of the damp gray weather.  But even night has a certain amount of brightness to it where the clouds are gone.  You can see the bright stars, the moon in all of her phases,   Even street lights seem brighter.  It doesn't feel so "closed in" as it does with the clouds, overcast, gray and damp.

So, over there is where I want to put my machine, and next too it on the left side the full tanks, and on the right the spent tanks.  Yes this I will do today.  But first...

Hot cocoa.

Do you know what is truly not fun?  Having a reaction to flea spray/medication that you have used on furniture and fabrics.  How would I know you ask?  I had such a reaction.

Yes, Sophie presented with more fleas.  Just when I get rid of them all she winds up with more!  After going through all that with the bathing in flea bath, the flea collar etc, etc, etc,  They were gone.  Then after Sandy blows through she goes outside to do her business and they are back!   Of course she is getting them from the yard and that flea collar didn't help.

So I went to the pet  store and got another collar and a more expensive medication which she wasn't at all happy with and I repeated what I did Sunday.  I also remembered that I had a bug spray in the kitchen that I had gotten months ago...so I read the label and yeah it helped get rid of fleas!

I sprayed it on the comforter Sophie and I use, and I sprayed it in our chair.  I even sprayed her since it said it was okay to do so as long as it didn't get in their eyes...she was facing away from me and I sprayed her backside.

After I got it all done, everything tossed or put away I was tired so I curled up under the comforter in the chair...yeah it was still a bit damp so I grabbed the heating paid to help warm things up and dry them and went to sleep...

Two hours later I was up hacking and coughing and had a burning sensation over exposed areas of my body/arms hands, feet and lower legs.  I tried to get up but Sophie was like dead weight and wouldn't move.  I finally had to shove her off my lap!   My nose and eyes were burning so I rushed to the bathroom, turned on the shower and jumped in!

I jumped in, clothes and all and stripped down in the shower.  It wasn't easy, sweatpants and tees stick to the body when wet but I got them all off.  I had already pulled the cannula off my face and was letting the water run in my face eyes wide open.  I just stood there, knowing exactly what happened, washed myself down, got out, grabbed a towel and found my pjs and put them on.

I sat up for awhile just to calm down, fixed up the other chair to sleep in moved things around and exhausted fell back into it with a sheet and afghan after taking the comforter to the laundry room to be washed at a later time.  I took the wet clothes and placed them into the washer, ran the dry because there were clothes in there.

Now I'm spending today just relaxing, in fact slept until after 2:00pm!   I don't care, that wasn't a happy thing and I'm not feeling all that great now.  For now, it's feeding time for Sophie and I'm going to curl back up In the chair and rest.  Happy Halloween everyone

What a crappy day!  I was so exhausted after dinner that about 8:00 I fell asleep until almost 11:00.  I'm still tired and after checking the message boards I'm going to settle in for the night with Sophie.

Started out with me trying to find my keys so I could go to the bank.  Took me an hour searching for those damn things.  Finally found them under something I was going to return to Wal Mart but never got around to doing...

Then I had to get the tanks ready to go.  Wasn't sure if I was going to stop of at the store real quick so I took one tall tank and two smaller ones just in case.  I also had promised to take Sophie along with me so I had to hitch her up and calm her down while I got my shoes on and made sure I had everything I needed.

Then it was to the gas station because I needed a little, so I got $10 worth.  Had to wait while pulling away from the gas station and Sophie wasn't happy about that.  She started whining, but quit once we headed down the road.

At the bank I couldn't find my wallet buried under the backpack, found it then couldn't find my ATM card inside...found it sighed a huge sigh of relief and proceeded with my transaction.  More Sophie whining trying to pull away from the bank and up to Wal Mart.

One check of the parking lot told me no way was I going in so we headed home.  Luckily the light was with us so there was no whining from Sophie.

Home so I decided that since it wasn't raining yet I'd take Sophie for a short walk before grabbing the large tank and go inside.  After the walk she  promptly went under the car and got tangled in the muffler and mudflap!  I had to get her untangled and once I did I went for the larger tank, she went to the front of the car...

And got herself tangled in the front bumper!  Oh I was ready to kill her!  Got her untangled for a 2nd time and inside before anything else went wrong.  Got settled back in and relaxed a few minutes before starting dinner.

Had bacon and eggs for dinner and things got a little "smoky" as I was getting Sophie's food ready I began having trouble breathing.  I had to come to the living room and sit down over and over, got my dinner cooked used my rescue inhaler ate dinner, Sophie enjoyed hers.  After dinner we sat in our chair, I needed to relax.  I fell asleep and slept for three hours.  Woke up to a COPD flare, had to use the nebulizer.

Now I have the shakes, used the corticoid steroid inhaler and am felling a little better but tired.  I'm going to get some more water, take a couple of pain pills and head to the chair.

You know there are days when I feel so totally unmotivated.  Usually they are my "high pain" days when my back hurts from the neck down and I've got a headache  My shoulders and arms ache as well

I look around at the mess I'm making and want to cry  because I just don't have it in me to clean it up  and I wind up setting myself back a few days on my cleaning because of it

I feel bad for Sophie having to put up with it, because I can barely move without pain in my joints and pain medications help but they don't do the job completely.   Then of course there is the fact that I have to go through the hassle of getting an O2 tank ready  and the minute she sees what I'm doing she gets excited and impatient and difficult to deal with, practically pulling me through the screen door.

The weather is nice, I just have to slip into a sweatshirt and shoes to go outside to enjoy it  But even that takes a bit of work, take out my cannula, put one arm through, hold the cannula in that arm while I put the other arm through and then put the cannula back in until I get to the portable tank and get it turned on then switch the cannula's then turn off the machine, then put my shoes on, then put the back pack on then hitch Sophie up..."Dammit Sophie slow down!"

Okay enough "Poor, Pitiful Me" I am going to at least take Sophie for a walk.  Going to grab my camera as well because it is a good day to get some good shots of the fall colors before everything goes gray again.  Now those are really days I am unmotivated...not looking forward to them either.

Another dreary, dismal, chilly, gray day.  I have only one area of the kitchen to complete but my back just isn't up to it.  I figure I'll take today and tomorrow off and then start back at it Monday, finishing up in the kitchen and then heading in here.  That way I can bring the desk in here after I clear out the are I want it to go.

Of course Sophie is here to help me, she has been a little lover and I enjoy having her here to snuggle with.  She helps me get to sleep at night and is a great little wake up.

With cleaning the kitchen I found out that a few things that I thought didn't work actually do, I just had to adjust them.   The coffee grinder just wasn't set right and by me readjusting the bottom of it I am now enjoying a pot of Starbuck's here at home!  So, the stove works, the oven works the coffee grinder works I'm all set LOL.

Been trying to figure out what type of Medicare plan to enroll into, I have until the 15th to decide.  With one I would also have to pay for a supplemental plan and with the other there would be no need for a supplemental plan but the rates may go up when I move.  But once I move I should be able to afford the extra.

So, Sophie and I are going to kick back and vegetate this weekend, I will be enjoying my Starbuck's.  I have been thinking about taking her to get a "costume" for Halloween and getting her nails trimmed, she is due.  I just don't like being out in this weather....Sigh

Well Sophie has adjusted to being "Only dog" she will spend part of the night in her basket sleeping and then after I've done my late night bathroom break she will curl up with me..   I don't mind, it's nice to have her snuggle in with me.


She loves the walks we go on and we have gotten to the stop sign up on the corner and back when I crank the O2 saturation way up.  If we go out around 3:00pm she does all of her "business"  and gets a nice treat for it.

There are things I need to get done around here but am taking one more lazy weekend to recoup from the flare this time around.  It was a bit worse than usual because the weed pollen has been very high and that along with the humidity hasn't helped.

Because of the pain in my neck and upper back I've had to stop using the computer so much.  It's nice though because now Sophie sits with me and we watch television while I work on the afghan I'm crocheting.  It has gotten to where I have to switch out though, go from one to the other when I start hurting.  Pain management...

The weather is turning and soon I'm going to have to drag the AC out of the window again.  I dread having to turn the heat on.  That's one good thing about the O2 machine, it puts out enough heat that I don't need to use the head as much.  Bad thing is you don't want to see my electric bill!  I don't want to see my electric bill!

Shannon has been working on her driving which means we are on the road to getting me to Texas hopefully not to far away.  My lungs will thank me for getting them out of the humidity, my joints will thank me for getting them out of the dampness and my bones will thank me for getting them out of the icy winds.  I won't miss the warping floors, I'm not going to go through any real strict cleaning measure.  I know he is just waiting for me to leave so he can gut this place.  

He won't evict me or ask me to leave because he doesn't want to feel guilty so  I'm sure he will be relieved when I'm gone LOL.  He can get in here and  really fix this place up,  I've heard him talking to his cousin that he wants to put in a bathroom upstairs off the bedroom and that would be a good thing,   I also know he wants to change the heating system to electric, it's gas now.  I'm going to leave the Washer and dryer here, or give them to charity and let Shannon take them off her taxes.

Right now the pain is coming up in my neck/upper back/shoulder area so I'm going to run off and crochet for awhile.  I am so looking forward to being where it is dryer and warmer and I can spend more time walking Sophie even in the winter.

I want to wish my Sophie a happy"birthday" Well it has been about a year since she and Phoebe came to me.  Now that her and I have gotten past the trauma of losing Phoebe who will forever be in our hearts, we can move on.

The weather has been pretty good here so we've been going on our walks.  I made it to the stop sign today.  Something I had yet to do before today.  It will be so nice when we reach Texas and we can walk longer distances.

Anyway today we are "celebrating" Sophie being here a year.  Shannon sent gifts.  Two new bowls for food and water, a new harness that I had to bribe Sophie into.  Dentasticks that I used to bribe Sophie with.  She also got a fold able cloth bowl for water when on the road and some moist wipes for when she is dirty but can't take a bath, usually due to my back health.

The harness doesn't bother her and she seemed to enjoy the wipes when I sued them on her belly.  I will be taking photos after while (I have to scare up batteries for my camera), but she will be having dinner in her new bowls.  And yes she will be getting something "special" with dinner tonight.

My health is getting better.  I decided to do a detox yesterday only taking in liquids and I pretty much purged my bod of the junk that it was harboring.  Lots of tea, lots of broth , the puffiness in my hands and feet is gone and yes I do feel better although tired from the diarrhea I had for two days

My neck and upper back hurt from the coughing and sneezing I've been doing due to the pollen floating around.  Weed pollen is high grass was moderate so of course the yard guy had to come and mow making the grass pollen even worse for me.  My eyes are still watering.  We have high winds warning now although it isn't bad outside, wasn't bad when we had our walk.

There is a very nice breeze coming in and that feels good. We are in for rain tomorrow, not something I"m looking forward to because that means humidity.

Right now, I gotta go get Sophie's dinner started...hmmm maybe some cheese tonight...By the way...Sophie wants to thank Shannon and Sadie for the great gifts and she can't wait to see them in Texas!

Sophie just took me on a wonderful walk a little while ago.  We had one earlier this morning but I've been flaring and earlier I wasn't really up to taking a walk.  But nonetheless we made it out to the curb and back with me stopping every few feet to catch my breath.

I came in and  got myself motivated enough to clean the bathroom.  Then I took a long break.  I even started some hot water going for tea which I never did have.

After having enough of television I gathered up the garbage bags and was thinking of driving them to the cub.  But that seemed so counterproductive.  Instead I grabbed an O2 tank, got hooked up, cranked it way up, used my inhaler and with that my lungs opened up and with the oxygen flowing I hooked Sophie up with her leash grabbed the bags and off to the curb we marched again.

Sophie did all of her "business" while out and we about "bounced" on the way back in.  My hips did start to ache but we did good, and I will be on my way to feeding Sophie in just a few minutes.  Still trying to figure about what I want for my dinner...

Well it turned out to be quite a day for Sophie and myself.  
I did a little "puttering" around here after waking up late.  I got tired and so I sat and crochet a little while watching television.

Since Domino's was having a special , on their large two topping pizzas, carry out.  So I got everything ready, the tanks to get me there and back, I ordered online and decided to let Sophie ride along.  She got so excited that even before I was ready to go she was at the door.

I grabbed my keys and made it to the door with Sophie  trying to drag me out.  Locked the door behind me, got to the car, Sophie in, back pack with tanks in and off we went. to pick up dinner.

It was quite humid so I kept the air conditioner on in the car, not hot but that humidity is horrid.  Found a good parking spot, grabbed the back pack with tanks while Sophie tired to get out, I cracked the window and went in.  Got the pizza, it was ready when I walked in and the guy recognized me and brought it over, I signed the
CC slip and back to the car. , less than 5 minutes.    

Put the pizza in the back to keep Sophie's nose out of them, slid the back pack in next to Sophie got in myself got started and as I was pulling out I reached up to adjust my glasses but they weren't there!

I almost went into panic mode, but  I parked again and started searching the back seat where I figured they had fallen off... No luck .  I checked the back pack thinking they may have fallen in when I switched tanks, again no luck.  I got out and ran back inside to see if they may have fallen in  the store, nope they weren't there.   At this point a nice lady and gentleman looked under the cars but nothing.

Yes I was starting to panic.  I resigned myself to driving home without my glasses and would have to have an early eye exam and get another pair.  I sat with the AC on just breathing trying to calm down.  I felt something on the back of my leg, reached down to pull up whatever it was and TA DA, my glasses!  I yelled to the two who helped me out that I found them and I thanked them.  Rolled up my window, breathed a sigh of relief and told Sophie I wanted no more "adventures" for today.

Before I "dipped" into the pizza I jumped into the shower for a cool down.  Ugh, it was so humid that by the time we got inside poor Sophie's tongue was dragging and I would have been winner in the wet "kneecap warmer" contest for old ladies , (figure that one out LOL)

Pizza was very good, Sophie was a bit miffed that she didn't get any but she will just have to be miffed, she gets fed very well.  Now, I'm going back to my flare...at least I'll get to sleep tonight.

                         

Flaring a little worse today because I haven't slept much.  Humidity was 91% last night so I didn't get to sleep until after the sun started coming up.  Finally got about four hours but that wasn't nearly enough but with the humidity I can't breathe as well and the air is just hanging there, no breeze, birds don't even sing/chirp on days like this.

So no undercutting for me today, I'll rest up today and get back to work tomorrow.  Sophie and I went to pick  up Phoebe's ashes yesterday.  They gave us a really nice box and a velveteen pouch with her ashes inside a plastic bag in it.   Yes I teared up and felt numb coming home.

Sophie behaved pretty well on the ride.  It took some forceful "Nos" to get her to understand that she couldn't sit in my lap while I was driving but she finally caught on and she was happy riding "shotgun" She enjoyed looking out the window , but got a bit "antsy " when we had to stop for a light.   We made it home in one piece, I fed Sophie and myself then I did some de-cluttering and finally called it a day.

I've started up a new crochet project, I belong to a group on Face book that has a "store" and after I get settled in Texas I'm going to start selling my afghans.  They will be reasonably priced nothing over $30 and just two basic patters.  I'm not out to make a million bucks, just to recoup some of the cost for yarn, because I enjoy crocheting, a moderately lucrative hobby.

I don't want to embark on any new ventures here because I'm going to need to be able to store not only the merchandise but shipping materials as well.  Who knows, maybe I'll even branch out and sell on EBay.  Maybe  Shannon can come on board with her jewelry making as well.  I do have a few  items that could be sold now that she has made...I'll have to run that by her.

For now, I'm going to nibble on home made chex mix and play a few games, take Sophie out and back in and just vegetate today, it' is a good day for vegetation LOL

Having a flare when you're by yourself can be difficult to say the least.  I woke up this morning in pain from my head to my toes.  I took Sophie out, got the tanks to the porch, had some breakfast and a half hour later I was sleeping again.

I woke up to the Batman Movie on ION, took Sophie outside, got the mail, junk of course.  Sat down to watch the rest of the movie, almost fell asleep when the O2 delivery came, I drag in the tanks and the fresh cannulas, signed the receipt then had to bring then all inside...

I had to turn on the AC because of the humidity.  I'm really feeling miserable.

I got up to get some iced tea and make myself a snack and it was all I could do to stand up.  I got dizzy walking into the kitchen even.   I get waves of total weakness and lethargy.  I hope this passes soon.

My snack is my own recipe for Chex Mix.  Rice and corn chex in a bowl with popcorn oil, any oil will do of course but I have the popcorn oil so figured I'd use it.  Some garlic powder and some cheddar cheese powder.  Mixed together then some buttery cooking spray, into the microwave for 29 seconds and viola...chex mix the way I like it.

My eyes don't want to stay open and I'm going to be asleep again soon.  Sophie keeps looking at me as if to ask if I'm feeling okay.  She came up into the chair a while ago to snuggle and cuddle.  The Vet clinic I took Phoebe to called to say her ashes were ready.  I'll go pick them up tomorrow.  I'll take Sophie with me, she can wait in the car while I go get Phoebe's cremains.

Right now, I'm going to finish my snack and my tea and sleep some more...

Well Sophie and I are on the mend.   I've gone over and over in my head the events of the day that took Phoebe from us and I can't figure out what may have happened.   I am a firm believe that when it is time it is time an I guess this was just Phoebe's time.  I am just glad that I was able to give her a good home for the time she was here, and that I enjoyed her company.

Sophie and I have begun a new bonding period.  She no longer looks for Phoebe.  She gets into the chair and will sit there for awhile, then back to her basket.  I think because she never really stayed in the chair to begin with.   She would get up into it for a few  minutes but then back into her basket.

Sophie has also become very loving.  Something I realize was always inside her but Phoebe was the dominant so Sophie kind of stood back.  Which is why Sophie spent much of her time in her basket rather than with me.  I guess Phoebe kind of "hindered" Sophie's true personality and now it is shining through!

Mornings as soon as she sees that I'm awake Sophie jumps into my lap and starts with the morning "kisses"  She waits for me as I go to the bathroom then heads to the front door for her "potty time" .   Throughout the day every time I go to the bathroom she waits and then runs to the door to go out herself.

She seems happier, the tail is almost always going, the only time it stops is when she's asleep, she bounces around much like a puppy...How funny that she would be so standoffish almost untouchable and now blossom.  

Yes Phoebe we will always love you, and miss you.  We know you are there with Max and Pebbles and you wait for us to join you in the future.  I know you watch over Sophie and are her guardian angel.  She will do right by you...guide her well.

My emotions are still very raw from last Wednesday night.  I keep seeing her face at the end.  When the Vet brought her in for me to say my goodbyes.  She looked at me, She knew who I was.  She attempted to lick my face, I got down to let her do so.  She looked straight at me and her eyes said it all:  She knew it was the end was letting me know that it was okay to let her go.  That look in those little brown eyes told me that she herself was letting go and that it was okay that I was letting her go.

Poor Sophie has been so confused.  The scent of Phoebe is still around us.  Sophie has gotten into the chair Phoebe usually sat but Phoebe isn't there and Sophie has that questioning look on her face.  "Where is she?"  She has been getting up into my lap more today than usual.  I hold her, I talk with her,  I tell her Phoebe isn't coming back, a couple minutes later she gets down and jumps into her basket and looks up at me with a sad sorrowful face.  She doesn't understand why Phoebe went away and why she isn't coming back.

We will wake up tomorrow morning, I will take Sophie outside.  Maybe she will check the yard to see if Phoebe is nearby.  Maybe she will come back in and get into the chair then back down when she discovers that Phoebe isn't there.  Maybe she will give me that "Where is she look"...then again maybe she won't.

In time I will close off that part of my heart she dwells in, I will touch the container her ashes are in every now and then, tell her I miss her.  Remind myself that I used to call her "Freebie" and probably tear up, just like I still do with Pebbles, with Max.  I will heal, Sophie will heal...but for now, our emotions are raw...

Not too "perky" this morning.  I had to do something very hard last night and it is going to take me awhile to recover from it.  I had to have my Phoebe put down.  I'm still very shaken and my "heart" hurts.  I don't know what went wrong, why she was having seizures, what took her from us.  I just know it hurts...

For most of yesterday Phoebe was fine.  She went out with Sophie happily doing her dance and yap at the door. However the third time they went out she needed "coaxing".  I had to go over to her in the chair and hook her up, she got out of the chair and followed Sophie outside but no "spring" in her step and coming in she had trouble getting up the steps to the porch.

Earlier that day she had thrown up a couple of times but nothing major and dogs throw up from time to time.  Back inside she layed down next to my chair, I put her back in her chair and headed to the bathroom.  I came out and announced that I was going to get dinner started and she didn't move.  Normally she would be in the kitchen before I could turn around and head in that direction.

I walked over to see what was going on and she wa stiff, unmoving, looked almost dead!  I picked her up and she blinked, I noticed her pupils were huge, no eye color showing.  I hooked up some left over tubing to the O2 machine and got it to her and the pupils started shrinking. I made a frantic call to the Vet but they were closed so I had to call the Emergency Vet.

Had a minor accident while getting there, I went over a divider while looking for the Vet's, it was in unfamilar territory and I didn't see that the divider although not much of an incline on my side was a drop off to the other side and I wound up stuck on the divider.  So I called 911 because yes it was an emergency, not only for Phoebe but for myself because I was on oxygen and couldn't sit and wait for Triple A to get around to getting to me.

Within about 15 minutes Phoebe was at the Vets, the car was removed from it's "trap and I was pulling the O2 tank out of the car to get into Vet myself.  Upon discussion, I found out that they couldn't get a blood pressure on her and her heart rate was so far above normal for a dog her side that it was about beating it's way out of her chest!

In order to do all of the tests they needed to do on her it would cost anywhere from $1,500 to $3,000, I applied to care credit but because of my own low scores I sas declined.  There was only one option  and the Vet agreed because there was no guarantee based upon her condition at that time that she would live through the tests anyway.

They could try and make her "comfortable" and keep her overnight with iv meds and then they'd determine what else to do hoping she made it through the "seizure"  and be okay.  Well while they were giving her some IV meds she had another seizure.  So I had to make the heartbreaking decision to let her go.  I held her I hugged her, I kissed her.  I told her she would be meeting up with Max and Pebbles and to keep watch as guardian angel over Sophie.  I cried...and cried...

Got home to Sophie, poor thing hadn't been fed yet.  I took her outside where she searched for Phoebe, we came back in where she looked ofr Phoebe and came to me with the look of confusion on her sweet face.  She sat in my lap for a bit then I fed her.  Came back in the living room to see what "damage" she had done while I was gone...she was so angry that I took Phoebe and she didn't get to go that she tore up a foam pillow I use in my chair.  Poor Sophie girl.

This morning she looked again for her buddy, still confused, she sat in my lap again for a few minutes when I first woke up.  I'm not in the mood to do much today...just going to grieve...I miss my "baby Phoebe"...

Strange morning this one was.  After getting to sleep before 2 am I slept until 9:30.  Opened my eyes to a headache and as I kept waking I was feeling all the pain.  I wasn't even sure I was going to be able to sit up but I pulled the lever on the recliner and yes I did sit up, although it hurt to get to that point.

So I got up and went to the bathroom, came back took my "morning pills" Then took the dogs out.  It was a nice morning and I really hated the thought of wasting it all inside, so when I got back in I started psyching myself up to taking the girls on a walk.  My upper legs and back were still hurting from the spill, my legs, just below the knees are sporting light bruises and yes painful to the touch.  Not enough to set me screaming but I will wince.

Well the girls were elated!  As soon as Sophie saw me grab the backpack with the tank in it she went nuts.  She was bouncing around, her tail was going she just couldn't wait,  Phoebe began to catch what Sophie had and was dancing around in front of the door yapping to hurry me along.  I got the back pack on, shoes on , hooked up their leashes and out we went.

I made it to the other side of the driveway next door before the pain made me turn around, to head back to the house.  We stopped once back on our driveway and I let the girls play in the grass a bit before It hit me that, this was where they picked up the fleas...so we finished the trek to the porch then back inside.  I gave them both a treat for the walk and switched from the tank back to the machine and sat back just to relax and I was asleep again.

I woke up again a little after 1:00 took the dogs out again, and realized the pain was harder to ignore so I took the APF Tylenol and went about my day as usual.  Got some of the kitchen squared away, goodness even did the dishes.  Had to sit down along the way but I managed to get some of it done.  There is still work to be done but it will get done.

For now, Sophie has let me know it's time to call it a night...she looks to be covered when she is sleepy so I covered her, Phoebe on the other hand doesn't like covers but she does enjoy her chair.  And me...well I have my chair as well...

So I'm hunched over like Quasimodo today, thanks to the spill I took yesterday.  my tailbone hurts and I'm on a pillow to ease the pain.  No it's not broken, it's been broken before and I know what it feels like, I wouldn't be able to sit at all if it were.  It just feels mighty bruised.

Hurts just below my knees as well because I had to get to my knees in order to get up.  My ribs hurt, from the jarring they took when I landed.  my right wrist up to my elbow have not been phased at all by the pin meds, no no breakage, I am able to use it, no pain to the touch and it's not swollen, the joints are just in pain.

My shoulders and upper back hurt.  I spent the night with the heating pad.  I've been contemplating taking the electric mattress pad off the bed and putting it in my chair.  I could probably sleep quite comfortably that way.  All my joints would thank me.  I like the mattress pad but have trouble sleeping flat, it's difficult getting up in the morning. so I'm in the recliner until I can get to where I can get a hospital type bed.

Ir really did shake me up though, it even hurts to breathe, My upper thorax hurts whenever I inhale,  not a lot but enough to be noticed and when I take a deep breath that whole right side hurts.  Sometimes I have to stop and think which side my heart is on just to assure myself it's not a heart attack.  If it were happening on the left I'd be on the phone or headed to the ER.

The dogs on the other hand are fine.  I wish I could have been able to walk them today but the pain has been too much.  It has been a good day, humidity finally started going down along with the temperature.  It would have been nice to get out for a walk but my legs ache and I don't think my back could have handled being on my feet that long.

They are feeling much better today, no yipping and whining, no biting and scratching.  I was able to sleep all night without either one of them waking me up.  It felt good.  I've been working at getting the ear mite medication into Sophie's ear and I've managed to get some of it in there, not sure exactly how much but so far it seems like it is working.  She hasn't been having problems with that ear now...I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I won't have to redo it.  She wasn't too happy about it to begin with...

I've been looking more closely at my upper fibulae and brusies are beginning to devlop on both of them.

Well it has been quite a day, and by night time I'm going to be in such pain.  I had a "Help I've fallen and can't get up" moment in the kitchen while fixing the girls their dinner.  I was sitting on my rolling stool cleaning up the dishes and tossing out old food when the stool began to roll right out from under me!  Had I been in the Olympics I would have scored straight 10s all around. it was such a beautiful 3 point landing!

After a few expletives and catching my breath I was able to get myself up, in pain of course and complete fixing the girls dinner and set it out for them.  I was feeling it in my back and butt though and I thanked the powers that be that I managed to get all of my "to-dos" done before this happened.  Boy did I ever have some to -dos to do.  

I was up kind of late last night, poor Phoebe had been yipping and whining all evening so I grabbed her up to see what was going on and oh Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy , fleas.  So I popped her into the tub for a quick flea bath...keep in mind this was at midnight!!  She was a bit better but still seemed bothered so I made a mental list of what I was going to need from the store in the form of flea repentant, new bedding because I decided to get rid of the pillows her and Sophie had been using.  And of course I had to get dog food, among other groceries.  

At the store in the pet department I wasn't going to pay almost $20 per dog bed and then got an idea.  I went to the crafting area after picking up the flea stuff and also picked up something for ear mites.  I found a pair of foam inserts for $8 each that would work very well .  All I would need to do is cover with a pillow case and they would be easy to clean.  Just on and off with a pillow case.  

Got home, put groceries away, then grabbed up both dogs and off to the bathtub.   Phoebe was not very happy that she had to go through it again, Sophie just tolerated it and while waiting for the Flea shampoo to work she whined.  We managed to sit out the entire five minutes, I rinsed them down Dried Sophie first so I could get her bundled and in control so I could clean her ears one which has been giving her problems., hence the ear mite medication.  got Sophie as dry as I could get her then came Phoebe who was very happy about getting out of the tub.  

Then came the part Sophie really doesn't like...the flea medication.  She can get pretty nasty about it.  I don't know if she doesn't like the smell or if it might burn when it goes on.  Phoebe doesn't seem to mind that part.  I gave them both treats for at least being tolerant of the ordeal.   I was hot and sticky and sweaty and felt yucky after bathing the girls so I jumped in for a quick shower myself and wouldn't you know the two of them were sitting at the door watching LOL.  Got dressed and then headed to make dinner for them and myself, which of course is where I had my fall, to now where I'm watching television and sitting with the heating pad on my back.  I am tired, I am in pain...